Tuesday, January 25, 2011

to what he owes her is sleep

the astronaut confesses. forgive him, for he is lost. lost in her. how can he not? she is the universe. constant, infinite and neverending. holder to countless galaxies, nebulas, suns and moons. no mere colloquy can describe her vastness. at least, nothing short of phenomenons, revelations or miracles. for she is as well enthralling in nature and beyond any human understanding. she is the enigma of an enigma. as such, written in a book to be deciphered by the great minds of our time.

the estranged astronaut. abandoned and disconsolate. still the dreamer. still the anti-gravity whore. the perennial underdog. lay stuck in no man's land. to run is futile as everything is to no avail and without escape. he looks forlorn as he floats in the vacuous space known as outerspace. he wishes that she was there for him. but she is, the universe is everywhere around him. but she still remains absent, in mind and in heart. she is his thought of every second of his being. thoughts are just mere matters that exists in the mind and his mind is not over matter.

the astronaut misses her. when they used to set the world ablaze. even as the earth falls all around, they held hands waiting for the end but they survived. nothing spares him from hallucinations of her and the dreams. he blames fate but knowing the truth, he himself is to blame. he is his own contractor. not the builder, the demolisher. the engineer to his demise from the state of being. his existential state. for what else does he have to live for? she lays locked in his conscience. she will never pass him. he believes that his will, will not let him.

the only cure is to turn back time. he promises to himself with every shred of being he has left to become the traveler of time. with faith and mystic power traversing the linear illusionary railway. and there is where it will end, where the astronaut will find his acceptance. his closure.

for now, to what he owes her is sleep


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